City Girl Strength

Hey Fam,

This week’s Spiritually Sexy newsletter is diving deep into something that’s been heavy on my heart for a while—why some women carry masculine energy and still hold onto that soft, feminine side. I’m not here to blame or shame the fellas, but to shed some light on where this energy comes from and how it shapes who we are.

I grew up in Brooklyn, NY, in the 80s, raised by my male cousins and disciplined by the men in my life. That upbringing wasn’t just about survival—it was about thriving in a world that didn’t always make space for softness. My masculine energy isn’t something I chose; it’s something I had to embrace. It’s my shield, my armor, my way of navigating a world that demands strength.

But here’s the thing—just because I carry that masculine energy doesn’t mean I’m not soft or feminine. My softness is real, but it’s reserved for those who deserve it. It’s not something everyone gets to experience. To see that side of me, you gotta bring trust, safety, and mutual respect. Whether you’re a man or a woman, if you can offer that, you’ll see the nurturing, loving, and warm side of me. But if not, you’ll be met with the tough exterior—the side of me that’s been shaped by the streets of Brooklyn, by the men who raised me, and by the life I’ve lived.

Let’s talk about why this masculine energy can be intimidating, especially for unhealed men. It’s not about trying to outdo anyone—it’s about survival, resilience, and protection. But when a man hasn’t done his own healing, he might see my strength as a threat instead of something to admire. He doesn’t know how to handle a woman who can hold her own, and that makes him question his own masculinity.

Now, let’s get real—I was married for almost two decades, and stepping back into the dating world has been eye-opening. It’s wild how some men want access to me, but the moment they trigger my masculine energy, they wanna complain about women being too masculine. But let’s be honest—as long as a woman’s willing to take disrespect or dim her light, these broken men are cool with sticking around. They’re comfortable as long as they can control the narrative, but the minute you stand your ground, they feel threatened.

I was raised by men who taught me to never take disrespect from anyone—not even from God. And here we are in an era where people are so broken, they’ll do anything to break someone else’s spirit just to feel validated. It’s heartbreaking, and it’s gotta stop.

So, what’s the solution? How do we heal each other? How do we navigate this dating world where women are living in their masculinity not because they want to, but because they have to? We start by understanding each other. We recognize that a woman who carries masculine energy is just as soft and feminine as the next—it’s just that her softness requires trust, safety, and mutual respect.

Let’s also talk about what to look for when dealing with women who live in their masculinity. It’s not about pointing fingers or playing the blame game. It’s about lifting each other up, about seeing the strength in each other and respecting the boundaries that come with that strength.

For the men out there, understand that a woman’s masculine energy isn’t here to overshadow you—it’s here because it had to be. If you can bring trust, security, and mutual respect, you might just see that softer side. But if you’re coming with insecurity and unhealed wounds, don’t be surprised when that masculine energy is what you’re met with.

This week, let’s get real about how our energy shifts depending on who we’re dealing with and why that’s perfectly okay. For all the women out there holding it down with that masculine energy, know that your softness is still there—it just ain’t for everybody. And for the men, it’s time to step up, heal, and recognize the strength in the women around you.

Let’s stop breaking each other down and start building each other up.

With love, realness, and straight-up truth, Pearl

P.S. Join the convo on social media and stay tuned for more soul-stirring content. Keep the vibes high and the love flowing. 💖